Monday, 28 April 2014

Don't Be Like Me

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. Today, I wanted to just talk to you a little about some mistakes I have made in my life and I thought if I could prevent one person from making the same mistake then it would be useful. The thing I am talking about is money.

I touched a little on it, in one of my blog posts from yesterday, but I wanted to explain what I am doing, what I am going through and why.

When I first moved into my own home with my then boyfriend, I felt as if no one could touch me, I had made it and I could do exactly as I wanted with my money. My partner had said he would pay all the bills, and all I had to pay was the food shop each week. I was so excited and so spent my wages on make up, going on holidays, concerts etc etc. We didn't save a penny, we just lived like money was going out of fashion and spent, spent, spent. We had a wonderful time. We saved up to get married and everything was fine.

Then when I was 8 months pregnant with Daniel, my husband got made redundant. We had no savings, we only had my wage and that was at the minimum level,and so I had to try and pay the mortgage, all the bills, petrol for the car, food shop and prepare for a baby coming very soon. As you can imagine, things were tough, I couldn't manage and so had to get a loan to tide us over until he got a job.

Thankfully, he got a job pretty quick, but he was working nights, and sleeping all day. So I was on my own, looking after the baby all night and all day. I couldn't drive and so felt pretty trapped not being able to go shopping and enjoy myself. Credit card letters kept piling through the door, and so I thought what's the harm, I will just have the one. When it arrived it was like I had hit the jackpot, the shopping channels were my vice and I used to watch them 24/7.

When I maxxed out the first card, I applied for a second and was approved. I maxxed out that. So at that point, I had a loan to pay, and 2 credit card payments to pay with huge interest added on top. When I returned to work 5 months later, they had cut my hours and so now, I was only earning half of what I was before with  major repayments needed on a loan and credit cards. So I applied for an overdraft and managed to get one, but soon I was at the limit of that because of the high interest rates on everything.

I was scared to death, and slowly but surely things were unravelling at home too. My husband had fallen in with a new crowd of friends and alcohol was high on the agenda, and soon he was refusing to pay for bills, and the mortgage and DIY jobs, and so I was trying to balance all that as well as paying off all of my debt.

I felt so alone, so trapped and I didn't want to burden my family with the problems, so I never told anyone how bad things were. Slowly but surely, I worked hard, kept my head down and I started to repay everything, and the loan eventually got paid and the credit cards got paid off. But things were tight, no new clothes, no make up, no nothing. But I had done it, I had no debt, it was amazing, I felt like I was on top of the world.

Then as most of you will know, 3 years ago my husband walked out on me and I had the added burden of now being a single parent. I was so down, and depressed and alone that yet again, I was vulnerable and I fell victim to the old loans and credit cards again. Don't get me wrong, things are nowhere near as bad as they were 7 years ago, but my finances are really not in a good way and so I am taking drastic action so that I can lift my head high when I walk into a shop and know that I can afford to buy things without living on plastic.

I have been an idiot where money is concerned, my Mom was always on about how credit cards and loans are bad, but I thought I knew better and I so wish now I had listened to her. But, onwards and upwards, I will conquer this mountain, and boy is it a big mountain to climb, but I will do it because I have to start saving for Daniel's future and my future and that is the most important thing. I don't NEED the next big eye shadow palette, I don't NEED the most expensive perfume in the world. I WANT financial security and that is the most important goal for me right now.

Basically, I just want to warn all you  beauty lovers and fashion lovers out there that loans and credit cards are not good, take it from someone who knows. They are so bad for you because yes you can buy the latest thing right then, but it takes months and years to repay for them, and by that time, the item that you so wanted has been in the bin for years and you are still paying for it. Stay away from them at all costs if you possibly can.

I am sorry if you found this post boring, but it is a post that comes from my heart and I just hope that I can prevent one of you being in the same sticky mess I am in at the moment.

Till next time, love and hugs xx

7 comments:

  1. This was such a great honest post - I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult times that you had to go through, and I agree that people definitely need to become more aware of the dangers of taking out loans and spending too much money where it's not necessary! I think this will be useful to a lot of people, it can be difficult to tell everyone about such a personal situation! xx

    http://saidacanephotography.blogspot.com

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  2. I was worried whether people would like this post. But I just felt that if I can help someone not fall into the trap then it was worth it.

    Thankyou for reading and commenting xx

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  3. It's great that you got through your financial crisis once and are now working to get through it again. There are plenty of people out there who get themselves into debt and try to hide from it so facing it head on is definitely inspiring.
    I was raised to not rely on others financially (that includes credit cards, overdrafts etc) but I still live at home with my parents so, although I don't need to think about that stuff now, my future may be completely different. I hope I won't turn to credit cards as I know fine well my will power won't last very long and I'll be staring at a long line of debt.
    I hope you can get through this quickly and easily. Financial security is much better than make up and clothes!

    Raise The Waves

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  4. Thankyou Mel, 8th day now without any spending and so feeling thrilled that I am getting my money back up. I am sure you will be fine. Just make sure when those letters advertising loans and credit cards come through the door, just throw them away in the bin and quick. xx

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  5. This was definitely a story to be remembered. It wasn't boring at all. You've faced some really difficult times, but here you are now still standing and looking forwards. Now I think that takes some courage, and you should be super proud to be doing all this. Keep it up. ^.^ I bet your husband won't find another strong woman like you :)

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  6. Your not on your own and your not the last person who will last out a credit card, you should be so proud of yourself :)

    Anna

    http://inthelifeoffletch.blogspot.co.uk

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  7. Thankyou Olivia-Savannah for your kind words. I have managed to pay off one of my debts so far, so only another 3 to go :) xx

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