Monday, 24 November 2014
Where Have I Been?
To be honest, I am a really very shy, nervous and anxious person and about 3 weeks ago, everything just seemed to get too much, and I just felt like running away from everything and everybody. When this happens, I normally just want to lock myself away in my house, shut the curtains, not go online and just withdraw into myself. This is what happened, I just felt I could not live up to what everyone was asking of me, and also, I had put myself out there with my Younique business, and I had had about 25 people say they were interested and only 5 people have so far ordered. I recieved criticism for posting on Facebook, I got laughed at by moms in the playground when I tried to promote it, and to be honest I felt like a huge failure.
It is so hard, when you put your all into something, and when in the past, you have supported others in their ventures, for them to openly ridicule you for trying to make a business work, just made me so mad. I felt like everyone was taking and no one was willing to help me. I felt like I was just stupid for trying and felt like there was a big black cloud over me, and no matter what I tried to do, I could not seem to lift it. Others that had joined Younique were selling way more than me and I just could not get the sales and so I just gave up.It was as if life was going on around me, but I had no place or point in anything any more. So, I retreated into myself and just did not join in anything and tried to just disappear.
But, my partner and my close friends have helped me to try and come out from under my cloud. I am still battling on and I keep trying to whisper my mantra "what does not kill you makes you stronger" but at times, I just want to break down and cry, and never get out of my bed again. I have to keep going, if not for me, then for my little boy and partner who have been my towers of strength these past few weeks. So, to help me try and get back to "normal" and to help me regain a little confidence, I thought I would try to get back into blogging, and working on my make up and beauty which I love and so this will hopefully help me to come right out from under my cloud. It is so hard to keep smiling when all you feel like doing is lying on the floor and shouting "I give up" but I will keep going, I must keep going and hopefully things will get a little easier.
I think I am going to start a positivity journal too, to try and make me see that things are not all bad and with the love and support from my family and friends and readers, hopefully, everything will start to feel better. I have just got to take it second by second, minute by minute and this way, I will make it through each day.
I want to thank you for sticking by me and reading my blog, and even commenting as I am sure this will help keep me going in the days and weeks ahead.
Till next time,