Monday, 4 May 2015

The reason for my absence.

Hi everyone. I am back. I am sorry I have been gone for a few weeks, but had a really bad spell with my AS (Ankylosing Spodylitis) and my Fibromyalgia and had to have an emergency appointment with my consultant at the hospital. This in turn, left me feeling down, fed up, unsure and all of the negative emotions that I am supposed to be battling just rose up and took me over. Basically my doctor explained that there is not much more they can do to help me. They could put me on Morphine to relieve the pain, but once I am on that I am on it for life, and it would shorten my life span as it is so addictive. They could give me other less able painkillers but the side effects would be so strong because of my lowered immune system, that the  positive effects would hardly be worth it. They are scheduling an MRI scan in the next few weeks, and have to see a chiropractor for the pain in my neck and shoulders, and then see a podiatrist to see if I need to have special shoes made to help me with my walking. I am supposed to also use crutches when I can, and if it is for a long day out then a wheelchair would be useful!!!!! I am not allowed to do any heavy lifting at all, as this will in turn weaken my already weakened spine, and to go swimming as much as possible!!

I have cried so much the last few weeks that I just felt a mess, and felt like I was just a hindrance on everyone around me. I felt like I am 38, and going to be in pain for the rest of my life. Pain when it takes over your body and mind, is so all consuming that you just cannot concentrate on anything else and makes you not just physically tired but mentally drained too.  So, I just allowed my blog to take a back seat, as I thought I wouldn't be able to shop in town as easy anymore using crutches. But the last few days I have come to the conclusion that my blog might be the distraction I need to take my mind off my health and give me something to focus on.I need to appreciate each and every day, no matter how far or how little I can walk about.

I have to try and focus on the positives, and my blog always made me happy, so really got to get back into the game with my writing, and get interacting again with all my fellow bloggers and readers. I hope you all can understand why I have been away and I hope to speak to you all again very soon.

Take care.

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